Cinister.

"And there’s Jamie, standing on the cliff-edge, screwing up a piece of blue paper and throwing it..."

Fri, 24 May 2013 12:01:18 +0200

“And there’s Jamie, standing on the cliff-edge, screwing up a piece of blue paper and throwing it into the sea.”

- Scarlett Thomas, from Bright Young Things (via the-final-sentence)

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Fri, 24 May 2013 08:00:41 +0200

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Fri, 24 May 2013 04:00:56 +0200

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Thu, 23 May 2013 20:01:14 +0200

"We all carry our prisons with us."

Thu, 23 May 2013 16:01:03 +0200

“We all carry our prisons with us.”

- Doctor Who, episode A Town Called Mercy.

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Thu, 23 May 2013 12:01:09 +0200

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Thu, 23 May 2013 08:00:45 +0200

My friends are moving on.

Thu, 23 May 2013 04:01:05 +0200

They’re changing, growing, and this development makes me thrilled, at ease, for them, because they deserve it. They most certainly deserve it.

And still, it drives me mad. Because I, myself, am not where I want to be. I’m here, somewhere I never wanted to be, never imagined, living a life I never dreamt of. And that drives me furious, so furious, because this is my life. And my friends’ success has me thinking:

Is this it?

For me, is this it?

My friends moving on should inspire me, drive me to greatness; instead I find myself here, furious over a life I don’t really care for.

Some days I manage to fool myself that this is enough. It is enough to not really write – who becomes an author, anyways – , to pick ugly flowers and buy green candles, to get the lowest passing grade and have so much time alone that I’ve managed to watch every episode of new Doctor Who in, what, three weeks? But it’s not enough. Because fictive characters can’t breathe, don’t live or communicare; they are stuck in the same story that repeats over and over again. They do not change. They do not grow. And I fool myself into thinking: this is enough.

Then I see my friends, how they’re moving on, developing, how they become so much more than they ever were before. And I look at myself. I look at myself, and I think: this is not enough.

This is not enough. Fictive characters, walks and lonely days are not enough. Because I want to be more, I want to be so much more. I want to save the world, want to shine like a burning star on the sky, want to shine the brightest of them all. I want to have more, be the best, get the highest grade simply because I can.

Because I can.

Because the brightest stars show themselves.

They do not hide at home, alone in their beds, but rise towards the sky.

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Wed, 22 May 2013 20:01:10 +0200

greysanatomygraphics: But now we’re family, and that means I...

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:01:12 +0200

greysanatomygraphics:

But now we’re family, and that means I worry about you.

imsirius: Steve Kloves: You have that moment where Hermione says...

Wed, 22 May 2013 12:01:22 +0200

imsirius:

Steve Kloves: You have that moment where Hermione says “That’s barbaric”

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Wed, 22 May 2013 08:00:57 +0200

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Wed, 22 May 2013 04:01:20 +0200

"I hate the word homophobia. It’s not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole."

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:01:14 +0200

“I hate the word homophobia. It’s not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole.”

- Morgan Freeman (via jcgenough)

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Tue, 21 May 2013 16:01:21 +0200

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Tue, 21 May 2013 12:01:14 +0200

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Tue, 21 May 2013 08:00:47 +0200

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Tue, 21 May 2013 04:00:59 +0200

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Mon, 20 May 2013 20:00:59 +0200

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Mon, 20 May 2013 16:01:15 +0200